Ally to one, Ally to all

Image used with thanks to

This morning I stumbled into a bit of a twitter storm. A Trans woman was asking about the validity of the Asexual term. Many people on her feed had joined her in criticising the use of the term Asexual, and relating it to nonsensical expressions of sexual identity. I was more than a little shocked. I do have an Ace friend, with whom I’ve had some interesting discussions on the subject, so felt able to step up and share my experiences, but it was uncomfortable. It soon got beyond my area of expertise and I stepped aside.

However, I do have plenty of expertise as a Mum of a neurodivergent son. I have plenty of experience as a woman in a hypersexualised patriarchal world. I have direct experience of being subjected to multiple forms of abuse because of who I am and how I live. I cannot walk by and say nothing when I see things going unchallenged if there is any chance my contribution may help someone who has been where I have. That’s one of the reasons I write as I do!

I also feel incredibly strongly that if we are an ally to one group, we must ally with all. I cannot stand with a Trans woman, and disregard and Ace person’s right to identify as such. I cannot stand with an Asian man but ignore the cries of the African-American one. I cannot work with those with Dementia yet ignore those living with Parkinsons Disease. I’m either for inclusion and equality, or I’m not. Jesus came for all, not some. Loving thy neighbour does not just mean the one like you, or that you understand. It means everyone.

So even if we have no direct experience of a particular issue, we know we all want to feel respected, valued and understood. From that stance, we know how we would wish to be responded to, and can respond accordingly to others. This stands regardless of who we are, who ‘they’ are, and what the issue is. We are all human beings. Let’s at like it.

Peace be with you.


  1. I love the fact that you point to dialogue between the oppressed. I am writing at the moment about woundedness and the idea that wounds recognise each other. Too often we get into a loop where our issue trumps all rather than learning from the wounds of others and ultimately the wounds of Christ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is so important Amanda. I can never know the pain of the LGBTQ community but I have learned so much from them. I treasure what I have learned from other faiths, and I hope I can share our experiences as a neurodivergent family to help others. The dialogue is what it’s all about.


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