Value

A Facebook friend shared an incredible post this morning I’d like to share here. With credit to Matt Conlon.

A father said to his daughter “You graduated with honors, here is a car I acquired many years ago. It is several years old. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you. The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out.” The father said,”Take him to the pawn shop.” The daughter went to the pawn shop, returned to her father and said,”The pawn shop offered $100 because it was a very old car.” The father asked his daughter to go to a car club and show them the car. The daughter took the car to the club, returned and told her father,” Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it since it’s a Nissan Skyline R34, an iconic car and sought out after by many.” The father said to his daughter,”The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.

This post hit me hard this morning. I am feeling very vulnerable and undervalued right now, with the life changes and stresses the Covid pandemic has brought. In reality, I’m finding value in different roles, different ways of expression, and it’s a huge readjustment, so that’s ok. But value is very much on my heart right now.

How do we demonstrate the value we place on eachother? When we disagree, do we say so in kindness and with openess to find a way forward? Do we bury our problems and look over at one another with resentment and growing chasms between us? Do we nurture what we value or do we take it for granted. under the assumption it will always be there?

Do we say we value one another, but act in a way that makes us liars?

I am certainly guilty of this. I become so wrapped up in my own feelings and responses I lose sight of the responsibilty I have towards others in the relationship. I find it almost impossible to look beyond and reach out. Then when I do, I am so poor and unpracticed at it, it rarely goes as I envisage. At least I try, right?!

I am learning however. That to value means to see beyond the now and look to the wider picture. That to see value is to look through God’s eyes, and see the world as They love it. To show value sometimes means drawing back and giving wrongs to God in the faith They will make them right. It also sometimes means to challenge the status quo, call out those wrongs and stand firm in the ensuing discussion. Which to do belongs to the heart of God Themselves, and I can only seek to discern well.

Valuing means not giving up when the going gets tough, when you get hurt again and again. Valuing means looking for a third way when your way and their way just don’t meet. Valuing is enabling discussion, holding on to the conversation even when the connection is down. Valuing is always seeing the best in the other even when it is through a mist of despair.

I value fiercly. I value my Husband, my bairns, my family, my friends, my local Church, my wider church, my community, my colleagues and those I serve in work and in word. I cause joy and I cause pain. I excel, and I fail spectacularly. But that’s ok. Because I am a belived Daughter of God whose humanity is celebrated in its wonder and covered in its shortfalls by the Love and Grace of God. Who values is all more than we will ever know.

Peace be with you.