Deconstructing Church

We would like to put together a track for Pentecost, our Musical Worship Minster said. The fear hit me like a tonne of bricks. This would involve a video, recording tracks, editing them to a good enough standard to send to proper music technology people who know what they’re doing far better than my incredibly crude basic knowledge allows for, and of course learning the part. Of course I said yes!

Through my Music Therapy training I have learned all about that sweet spot right on the edge of your comfort zone where the magic happens (Vygotsky and his Zone of Proximal Development anyone?!). With a little bit of support to do something you otherwise can’t do, you can surprise yourself. I’m fortunate that, particularly in the last five years of my life, my potential has been recognised by others far more than myself, and I have been guided, encouraged and pushed into places I’d never have dreamed of going.

But doing music technology stuff has always (and probably will always) fill me with dread. So why say yes? I believe that my gift of musicianship is my spiritual gift from God, to use in service of others in whatever way I can. It’s why I’m a worship leader in Church, a Music Therapist in my day job, and why I help out wherever I can. Should I not do so because it’s hard, because I’m scared of making a fool of myself, because it’s a lot of effort in the middle of a pandemic?

Well, no. Because it may not be my thing, but it is for others. If even one person is blessed by the end result than it is worth doing. I learned some new tools today which are great for professional CPD reasons but also for my self as a person. I know I was right to trust I could do it, I did do it, and I can do it again. They are really powerful lessons to learn, and the more we experience that process the stronger we get. So it may have taken me hours today to pray, get set up, practise, play, get it wrong, get frustrated, pull it back, give it back to God and then get it right, but I count it a day well spent. I owe my family a lot of chocolate for how quiet they’ve been though …

Peace be with you.