Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Sinaed O’Connor. No Doubt. Whitney. Love ’em all. The tears and the raised glasses of wine as we sing hopelessly out of pitch along to those powerhouses, putting into words and music our feelings of utter despondency and grief.

Sugababes. Little Mix. Gloria. Raising the tempo. The high heels and the power dressing as we slap on the lipstick and curl our hair, determined we will feel good again and not let the sadness overwhelm.

Or whatever rituals you may have to get you over the pain of a messy breakup.

But breakups aren’t just in the form of romantic relationships. More attention is being drawn to what happens when friendships break up (as in Times magazine). Relationships breaking down between family members can be devastating with life long consequences.

Breakups between individuals and families and their church communities equally so.

What music do we weep our hearts out to in this circumstance? Lament albums don’t hit the top of the American Christian Album charts. But they are sorely needed. Which Bible verses can we turn to when many of them sting now, holding years of biased interpretations and wrongful wielding to exclude those Jesus never excluded in their wake. Do not despair for God is with you, if you can find Them through all the hoops and hurdles people have laid in your path.

To move forward you have to leave the break up behind, anyone who has been there will tell you that. But the church spire looms tall, your social network is still full of loved ones who still love what you have lost, maybe even your closest amores, your spouse.

That’s tough. That’s also ok.

God has it. God hasn’t broken up from anyone. God was there, but God is also here. Now. In this moment, in this blog, in my heart and in yours, reader. In the space around and within, and despite whatever barriers and blockages we may feel around us God is closer than we will ever know.

So follow ‘Nothing Compares’ with ‘I will Survive. Take Psalm 6 and follow it with Psalm 100. Grieve what is behind but look at what is ahead. There is so much out there, so many amazing people, Churches and communities that breaking up gives such opportunity to explore and discern what God has next. To rest, to be, to heal, and to live abundantly.

I’m working in getting myself onto that dance floor, see you there?

Peace be with you.

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